Do you See what I see

As some of you may or may not already know, I am visually impaired. Despite this I can still paint some pretty amazing things…There’s been a few rumours, so I figured I needed to set the record straight. 

This is what I see

At 13 years old when most kids were out causing all kinds of trouble I was facing the biggest hurdle of my life. I was diagnosed with a rare form of Macular Degeneration (yes I know only older people are supposed to get this). By 16 my vision deteriorated significantly to the point where I was linked up with the Canadian National Institute for the  Blind. Not only did I lose the majority of my sight, but I felt like I had lost my freedom. I underwent multiple treatments that had brutal side effects, one of which was systemic and caused my body to feel like it was on fire if I was exposed to light. I was wrapped like a mummy in order to try and prevent the burns while travelling  home from Vancouver. This was especially fun during the hot summer months. On top of the treatments I was met with other obstacles like learning how to read print again, navigating the internet, not to mention trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life after I graduated. 

Thankfully, after undergoing multiple experimental treatments I regained a significant amount of my vision back. Now I am left with blind spots in my central vision where my eyes are scarred from the leaking blood vessels. It’s actually a miracle that my sight although impaired is as good as it is. I will always run the risk of losing more of my sight it’s just the nature of the beast. Due to my vision loss there are certain activities that I can’t do like drive, and I am also now night blind so activity in low light is difficult. That being said there are way more things I can than can’t do. I really try and focus on all the things that I can do because it can be pretty devastating if I only focus on the things I can no longer do. 

Art is one thing that I can do, and it’s something that I’m pretty good at too. When I first experienced my vision loss I didn’t really focus on art as much, but over time I was able to adapt. Small adjustments like lighting really helped. It has to be the right lighting, because I also struggle with light that is too bright. The introduction of the iPad is actually life changing, because I am able to enlarge reference photos and zone in on certain areas. My central vision is what is effected the most, and in order to see certain parts of the paper I have to focus on a point above or to the side of the area I want to see, and use my peripheral vision to paint that area. I can’t just look at an area directly because of the blind spots. So needless to say it’s a pretty exhausting process for me. It definitely takes me much long to complete a piece than other artists. 

Vision loss does have it’s bright side as it is a huge bonus for doing impressionism! I don’t have to squint at a reference photo to blur it like other artists do. All I need to do is remove my glasses and paint! If I’m having a particularly rough day I usually paint in this style so I don’t have to worry about every brush stroke I can just go for it. Also my sense of colour is a bit better than before because I can really focus on colour variations. That being said, I do still enjoy painting in a realistic style, and I think the use of an iPad along with good lighting allows me to do this. 

People are often pretty shocked to hear that I have vision loss, and don’t really understand how I can paint. Yet they fail to realize that some of the world’s most renowned master artists were visually impaired when they created their greatest work. Monet created his famous water lilies after losing much of his sight due to cataracts. His impressionistic style is attributed to his vision loss, it’s also interesting to see how his use of colour changed as his sight diminished. Edgar Degas was believed to have macular degeneration in his late 40’s when he started to created his masterpieces. Rembrandt was also another famous artist who lacked binocular vision causing problems with his depth perception yet he went on to create endless masterpieces. I feel that my vision loss simply gives me a different perspective, and naturally allows me to pick focal points that other people may not be able to ‘see.’ My eyes will naturally gravitate to a different part of a landscape or still life, because of this I can tackle a painting from a different perspective than other artists. People also comment on the bold colour choices in my work, this is simply because it’s easier for me to see!

All this being said the goal for this post is for people to understand that just because the world sees you as having a limitation, doesn’t necessarily mean it is one. People with disabilities can do amazing things, and should never let their limitations hold them back. For me I can tell people that it is possible to become a nurse with vision loss, and it’s also possible to be an artist. I’ve learned that it may take longer to achieve my goals, but it can be done. You are faced with losing your sight I encourage you to find ways to do the things you love regardless of the challenges you may face along the way. It may be trial and error for the first little bit but it’s worth it if you can continue doing what you love! 

I’ve received so much positive feedback from this post already that I have decided in a future post to share my studio set up and more specific ways to make it easier to create if you have vision loss.